Phobic Dimension 恐惧维度 There was another important element which entered into Bob's prolonged immobility. He was afraid of death. This was a constant preoccupation with him. You remember that one of the central elements in his delusion was that as a member of the godlike race he could not die. Neither did he have to fear the power of God since he was as powerful as God. Death in Bob's mind was linked with divine retribution. He feared that God would punish him for his many girl friends. When he would speak of these, he would often become tense and anxious, tremulous and tearful. He would moan, "How could I do such a thing!" He saw the abortions as hurtful and selfish—he persuaded the girls to have them not for their sakes, but to get himself off the hook and out of trouble. He felt that he would be punished for this. 鲍勃之所以长时间一动不动，还有一个重要原因。他怕死。这是他一直关心的问题。你还记得吗，他妄想的核心要素之一是，作为神一般种族的一员，他不能死。他也不必惧怕神的大能，因为他和神一样有能力。在鲍勃的心目中，死亡与神的报应联系在一起。他担心上帝会因为他的女朋友太多而惩罚他。当他说到这些的时候，他常常变得紧张和焦虑，颤抖和流泪。他会抱怨:“我怎么能做这种事!”他认为堕胎是一种伤害和自私的行为——他说服女孩们去堕胎不是为了她们，而是为了让自己摆脱困境，摆脱麻烦。他觉得他会因此受到惩罚。 Much of Bob's rejection of his Jewish faith and observance had to do with this issue. What he had done was clearly not what good Jewish boys do. His rejection of his parents' and particularly his mother's beliefs was a defense against his fears of punishment. Behind this anxiety and agony lay the Oedipal drama. The powerful father-god would punish him for his transgression against the mother-woman whom he had impregnated. His fear of his father was thus translated into and strongly determined his fears of death. But the fears were much more than the fears of castration due to an Oedipal transgression. The whole was suffused with preoedipal fears and destructiveness. The primitive sadistic urges were channeled into his wish to destroy the woman, the bad mother who had deprived and dominated him, yet to whom he was tied with such deep and symbiotic dependencies. The primitive aggression and destructiveness were also projected into the harsh, cold, and powerful father who could punish and destroy. 鲍勃对他的犹太信仰和习俗的拒绝很大程度上与这个问题有关。他所做的显然不是犹太好男孩该做的事。他拒绝父母的信仰，尤其是他母亲的信仰，是为了抵御他对惩罚的恐惧。在这种焦虑和痛苦的背后是俄狄浦斯戏剧。强大的父亲-神会惩罚他，因为他使母亲-女人怀孕。因此，他对父亲的恐惧转化为对死亡的恐惧，并强烈地决定了他对死亡的恐惧。但这种恐惧远远超过了因俄狄浦斯情结的越轨而被阉割的恐惧。整个故事充斥着前俄狄浦斯恐惧和破坏性。原始的施虐冲动被引导到他想要摧毁那个女人的愿望中，那个剥夺了他，支配了他的坏母亲，但他却与她有着如此深厚的共生关系。原始的侵略性和破坏性也投射到严厉、冷酷和强大的父亲身上，他可以惩罚和破坏。 These fears paralyzed Bob. He placed himself in a safe and protected position, one in which there was no need for him to move at all. The hospital became a safe haven in which he escaped from the movement of life. To live, to commit himself to a course of action, to follow out the plans for his career meant on one level to emerge from the dependence and weakness of childhood into the activity of adult life. It meant to move from being a child to being an adult—to grow older—and thus to grow closer to death. This basic fear expressed itself in any step which suggested to him that he might move off his safe and regressive perch and progress toward greater capacity to function. He resisted every move toward improvement. Therapy became a slow and repetitious process in which there was negligible progress. 这些恐惧麻痹了鲍勃。他把自己安置在一个安全的、受保护的位置上，在这个位置上他根本不需要移动。医院成了他逃避生活的避风港。生活，致力于自己的行动方针，遵循自己的事业计划，在某种程度上意味着摆脱童年的依赖和软弱，进入成年生活的活跃状态。它意味着从一个孩子变成一个成年人——变老——从而离死亡更近。这种基本的恐惧表现在任何让他想到他可能离开安全的、退行性的栖所，朝着更大的行动能力前进的举动上。他抵制一切进步的举措。治疗变成了一个缓慢而重复的过程，进展微不足道。 The whole process was complicated by the issue of compliance. Making progress in therapy became his father's wish, which Bob for these many reasons had to frustrate. It was directly his father's wish, for the father was continually putting pressure on him to get out of the hospital, pull himself together, start a practice, stop acting like a baby, stop costing father money. It also became an issue of transference, insofar as the therapist's wish for Bob to function more maturely became aligned with father's wish. The therapist became the substitute father who was pushing Bob to perform up to standard. This generated tremendous resistance to the treatment process. Bob's conflicts over compliance became a central issue in the treatment. The basic issue was centered on the fact that for him to remain compliant and passive and to submit himself to the wishes of the therapist was equivalently for him to remain sick. But for him to become noncompliant and to begin to take the first steps toward autonomy and self-assertion would be to allow his intense destructiveness to be unleashed. 整个过程因顺从问题而复杂化。在治疗上取得进展成为了他父亲的愿望，但由于种种原因，鲍勃不得不挫败这一愿望。这完全是他父亲的愿望，因为他父亲一直在给他施加压力，要他出院，振作起来，开个诊所，别再像个婴儿一样，别再花父亲的钱。这也变成了一个移情的问题，因为治疗师希望鲍勃能更成熟地发挥作用，这与父亲的愿望一致。治疗师成为了替代父亲，督促鲍勃达到标准。这对治疗过程产生了巨大的阻力。鲍勃在顺从性上的矛盾成为治疗中的一个中心问题。基本的问题集中在这样一个事实上，对他来说，保持顺从和被动，服从治疗师的意愿，相当于让他继续生病。但如果他变得不顺从，并开始迈出迈向自主和自我主张的第一步，就会让他强烈的破坏性被释放出来。 Bob improved sufficiently to undertake weekend visits home. There he would spend most of the day in bed. His father could not restrain himself from attacking this behavior on Bob's part. He regarded it as being lazy, irresponsible, perverse, and suggestive of other bad things. Bob avoided any confrontation with his father over the sleeping, but he would return after such visits increasingly agitated and depressed. His complaint was that he could never satisfy his father and that he was really inadequate and sick. The events of the weekend had once again proven that. When the therapist suggested that if Bob wanted to sleep all weekend that was his business and not his father's, Bob found it very hard to accept. When I first observed that sleeping was all right if that's what he wanted to do, he looked at me incredulously, broke into a silly grin and said, "You can't mean that—that's just crazy!" For Bob, acting more healthily had become an act of compliance—a sacrifice of autonomy. Becoming more autonomous, even if it meant acting against his father's or my wishes, was seen as craziness. 鲍勃有了很大的进步，周末可以回家了。在那里，他大部分时间都躺在床上。他的父亲忍不住要攻击鲍勃的这种行为。他认为这是懒惰的、不负责任的、乖戾的，而且会使人联想到其他不好的事情。鲍勃避免在睡觉的问题上与父亲发生任何冲突，但每次回家后，他都会变得越来越焦躁和沮丧。他抱怨说，他永远不能使他父亲满意，他真的身体虚弱，病得厉害。周末发生的事情再次证明了这一点。治疗师建议，如果鲍勃整个周末都想睡觉，那是他自己的事，与他父亲无关，鲍勃觉得很难接受。当我第一次发现，如果他想睡觉的话，睡觉是可以的，他怀疑地看着我，然后傻笑着说:“你不会是那个意思吧——那简直是疯了!”对鲍勃来说，表现得更健康已经成为一种顺从的行为——牺牲自主权。变得更加自主，即使这意味着违背父亲或我的意愿，也会被视为疯狂。