Victimization 受害 While the growth-limiting aspects of this involvement have often been described, I would like to focus here on the modality and patterning of it. In addition to impeding the child's opportunity for warm and meaningful relationships with both parents and distorting the patterns of identification which are so essential for psychological development, the pattern of interaction in Clare's family introduced other important parameters. Clare grew up in an atmosphere that taught her that human relationships were predicated on the interaction between victims and victimizers. She learned that the relationship between men and women was based on dominance and submission. As a woman it was therefore her lot to be victimized, taken advantage of, hurt, used, demeaned. Her only recourse was acceptance and submission—otherwise she became the victim of brutalizing attack. Her mother's constant message—lived out in the pattern of her own behavior and experience—was that women were inferior, inadequate, destined to be attacked, sexually abused, and victimized. 虽然这类亲密关系限制成长的方面经常被描述，但我想在这里集中讨论它的形态和模式。除了妨碍孩子与父母双方建立温馨而有意义的关系的机会和扭曲对心理发展至关重要的认同模式之外，克莱尔家的互动模式还引入了其他重要的参数。克莱尔在这样一种氛围中长大，这种氛围让她明白，人与人之间的关系是建立在受害者和迫害者之间互动的基础上的。她了解到男人和女人之间的关系是建立在支配和服从的基础上的。因此，作为一个女人，她的命运就是成为受害者、被利用、被伤害、被用、被贬低。她唯一的办法就是接受和屈服，否则她就会成为残酷攻击的受害者。她母亲不断传达的信息——以她自己的行为和经历为模式——是女性是下等的、不够格的、注定要受到攻击、性虐待和伤害的。 Thus there was an implicit style of relating and interacting that was founded on the underlying suppositions that in relating to other human beings one had to expect attack, hurt, victimization, and humiliation. This implicit message that was dictated in multiple facets of the family life and experience, and which was generated from the pattern of interacting pathologies in her parents, was also reinforced in the expressed attitudes of both parents. This had particular relevance to the area of heterosexual involvement: Clare's father taught her explicitly that men were out to get her and that they wanted nothing but to screw her. This approach left little room for an understanding of tender and loving feelings or for an appreciation and valuing of Clare's femininity as valued and appreciated. 因此，有一种隐式的联系和互动的风格是建立在这样一种底层假设的基础上的——在与他人联系的过程中，人们不得不预期会被攻击、伤害、受害和羞辱。这种隐含的信息在家庭生活和经历的多个方面都有体现，而且是由她父母的互动病理模式产生的，这种信息在父母双方表达的态度中也得到了加强。这与异性亲密关系领域有着特殊的关联:克莱尔的父亲明确地告诉她，男人想要得到她，他们只想要折磨她。这种方法没有给理解温柔和爱的感觉留下多少空间，也没有给欣赏和尊重克莱尔的女性气质留下多少空间。 The point I am emphasizing here is that there is an identifiably paranoid style that is promulgated within the family interaction that was both implicit in the pattern of interaction between the parents—as well as in the interaction between Clare and her father—and which became explicit in the communications made within the family. The explicit communication was found in Clare's family—particularly from her father—but often is not so explicit in other families. It is always an implicit part of the family interaction nonetheless. 我强调的一点是,有一个可识别的偏执风格在家庭互动中传播,既隐含在父母之间(以及克莱尔和父亲之间)的交互模式中，也显式地呈现在家庭内的交流中。克莱尔家中(特别是来自她父亲的)这种显式的交流在其他家庭中往往并不那么明确。尽管如此，它始终是家庭互动中隐藏的一部分。