Early Experience 早期经历 Clare remembers very little of her early experience in the family. Her early years were apparently unremarkable, at least in so far as the data available to us would suggest. She was a healthy and apparently normal little girl. One of the significant events of her young years took place when the family moved to her grandmother's farm. The family lived there for over a year when Clare was about four years old, and then moved to the permanent family home in a nearby city where the father carried on his work. Clare remembered her relationship with her grandmother in very warm and special terms. Grandmother was a pleasant and affectionate woman and Clare had a special relation to her. She recalled her as someone who was warm, affectionate, loving, and pleasant—someone who was fun to be with—unlike her own mother and the rest of her family. Clare loved to spend vacations and holidays with her grandmother and recalled these occasions with her as the only times in her childhood that she felt happy and loved. Her relationship with her grandmother stands out in her early history as the only positive and warm attachment that she was able to have. As a consequence the loss of her grandmother was particularly dificult for Clare to integrate, but it may also have provided her with an important basis on which her later capacity for therapeutic improvement was able to build. 克莱尔几乎不记得她早年在家里的经历。她的早年生活显然平淡无奇，至少就我们现有的数据来看是这样。她那时是一个健康的，看起来很正常的小女孩。她年轻时发生的一件大事是全家搬到她祖母的农场。克莱尔四岁的时候，他们一家在那里住了一年多，然后搬到了附近一个城市的家里，父亲在那里继续他的工作。克莱尔回忆起她和祖母的关系时，语气非常热烈，也很特别。祖母是一个和蔼可亲的女人，克莱尔和她有一种特殊的关系。在她的回忆中，她是一个热情、多情、有爱心、令人愉快的人——一个和她在一起很有趣的人——不像她自己的母亲和她的家人。克莱尔喜欢和祖母一起度假，回忆起这些和她一起度过的时光，那是她童年时代唯一感到幸福和被爱的时光。在她早期的历史中，她与祖母的关系是她唯一能拥有的积极而温暖的依恋。因此，失去祖母对克莱尔来说尤其困难，但这也可能为她后来的治疗改善能力提供了一个重要的基础。 Clare grew up a shy and relatively withdrawn child. She kept to herself a great deal and had few childhood friends. She played almost exclusively with her brothers and sisters and made few friends at school. Academically her performance was quite superior: she was at the head of her class in grammar school and at the very top of her class in high school. She felt awkward and embarrassed about her intelligence, and undoubtedly she suffered many of the difficulties of bright girls. On one hand she was stimulated to compete with the bright boys in the school, but on the other she was too successful. She felt ostracized and isolated because of her intelligence. She was afraid that her schoolmates would not like her because she was too bright and won all the prizes. Her interests were not the same as other girls'. She never took any interest in play with her girl friends, never indulged in doll play or other girls' games, but was more interested in boys' games and in competing in sports, and developed early intellectual interests(probably from the pressures put on her from her father) in science and literature. She learned to read early and recalls spending most of her time as a child reading, and she read everything that she could get her hands on. She could never share her rather precocious interests with the other kids; the other girlds didn't know what she was talking about and cared less. The boys—some of them—might have afforded some outlet for communication, except for the fact that she felt so competitive with them and felt that they all avoided her because they didn't like smart girls—especially if the girl was smarter than they were. She developed the feeling that her intelligence was a smarter than they were. She developed the feeling that her intelligence was a liability, since because of it people disliked her and tried to put her down. She also developed the conviction that all the boys she knew—particularly the smarter ones whom she could admire and like—were out to show her up and take every opportunity to make her look stupid or inadequate. She could never appreciate the way in which this conviction paralleled the treatment she received at her father's hands. 克莱尔成长为一个害羞、相对孤僻的孩子。她常常独来独往，很少有儿时的朋友。她几乎只和她的兄弟姐妹一起玩，在学校几乎没有什么朋友。在学业上，她的表现相当出色:她在文法学校是班上的第一名，在高中是班上的第一名。她为自己的聪明才智感到羞愧，毫无疑问，她遭受了许多聪明女孩所遇到的困难。一方面，她受到激励，要与学校里聪明的男孩竞争，但另一方面，她太成功了。由于她的聪明才智，她感到被排斥和孤立。她害怕她的同学会不喜欢她，因为她太聪明了，赢得了所有的奖项。她的兴趣和其他女孩不一样。她从来没有任何兴趣与其他女孩玩耍,从未沉溺于玩布娃娃或其他女孩的游戏,而是对男孩的游戏和在运动中比赛更感兴趣,并发展了(可能源于父亲给她施加的压力)在科学和文学上的早期智力兴趣。她很早就学会了阅读，并回忆起自己小时候大部分时间都在阅读，凡是能找到的书她都读。她永远不能和其他孩子分享她那相当早熟的兴趣爱好;其他女孩不知道她在说什么，也不在乎。男孩们——其中一些——可能已经提供了一些交流的渠道，除了一个事实，那就是她觉得和他们竞争太激烈，他们都回避她，因为他们不喜欢聪明的女孩——尤其是如果女孩比他们聪明的话。她产生了一种感觉，认为自己的聪明才智是个累赘，因为正因为如此，人们才不喜欢她，并试图贬低她。她还逐渐相信，她认识的所有男孩——尤其是那些她能欣赏和喜欢的更聪明的男孩——都出来作秀，利用一切机会让她显得愚蠢或不胜任。她永远无法理解，这种信念与她在父亲手下受到的待遇是多么相似。