Narcissism and Reality 自恋和现实 As the growing child comes to know reality, his narcissism is inevitably and profoundly affected by it. He is forced on countless fronts to accept limitation, to give in to the insistence and convictions of others. The child must learn that his capacities are limited, that his existence is finite, that choice and determination are fraught with anxiety and uncertainty. Through all of his painful learning experience, there runs the thread of the child's continuing sense of helplessness and weakness: that he is in fact dependent on the whim and the will of those more powerful caretaking creatures who surround him. Children manage to transcend the real world and its limitations by the force of imagination, active and vivid fantasy, a belief in magical power and omnipotence, and a capacity for imitation and assimilation to the powerful figures around them. The young child's tendency to identify with the aggressor, which Anna Freud describes so vividly, is a striking example. It is through such devices that the child gradually turns from the precarious weakness of passivity and victimhood, to the relative activity and striving for mastery which is dependent on psychic growth. 随着成长中的孩子逐渐认识到现实，他的自恋也不可避免地受到了现实的深刻影响。他在无数方面被迫接受限制，屈从于他人的坚持和信念。孩子必须知道他的能力是有限的，他的存在是有限的，他的选择和决心充满了焦虑和不确定性。在他所有痛苦的学习经历中，孩子始终有一种无助和软弱的感觉:他实际上依赖于他周围那些更强大的照顾者的兴致和意志。孩子们通过想象的力量，活跃生动的幻想，对神奇力量和全能的信仰，以及对周围强大人物的模仿和吸收能力，成功地超越了现实世界及其局限性。小孩子倾向于认同攻击者，安娜·弗洛伊德如此生动地描述了这一点，就是一个突出的例子。正是通过这些手段，儿童逐渐从被动和受害的脆弱状态，转变为相对活动和对掌控的努力，这些依赖精神成长。 This pressure toward redeeming a diminished self-esteem leads inevitably to an expression of aggressive feelings of competition and rivalry, particularly within the family context. This sometimes serves to contribute to and continue the sense of inadequacy and inferiority, since in the continuing competition with parents and older siblings particularly, the child is inevitably and inexorably the loser. This was so graphically and poignantly one of the important lessons to be drawn from the case of Jim. His childishly ambitious and aggressive attempts to salvage his damaged narcissism served only to merit him the benignly knowing smiles of his elders who thought that his attempts were "cute." Consequently, his attempts to redeem and salvage his injured narcissism served only to confirm and reimpress upon him his weakness and comparative incapacity. 这种弥补自尊下降的压力不可避免地导致把竞争和对抗的攻击性情绪表达出来，特别是在家庭环境中。这有时会助长并继续产生不足感和自卑感，因为在特别是与父母和哥哥姐姐的持续竞争中，孩子不可避免地、不可阻挡地成为失败者。这是我们从吉姆的案例中得到的最生动、最深刻的教训之一。挽救了他受损的自恋，他孩子气地雄心勃勃和咄咄逼人地尝试，但这只会让他得到长辈们的善意会心的微笑，他们认为他的尝试是“可爱的”。因此，他试图弥补和挽救他受伤的自恋，结果只是证实并再次向他灌输他的弱点和相对的无能。 There are elements of narcissism which are basic to its understanding. Narcissism is incapable of self-sustaining action. It is by its nature uncompromising and continually requires fresh gratification. It is not self-limiting. It has no inherent stability, and has a quality of insatiability. Pathological narcissism can allow no allies. It can tolerate only enemies. The narcissistic image must be endlessly restored. The struggle with reality convinces the child, undoubtedly quite correctly, that but for reality he would not be deprived and would have what he wished. The very nature of his wishes precludes their realization, and it is this that is at the basis of his deprivation. It is in this regard, then, that we can begin to grasp the inner links which forge the tie between narcissism and the paranoid process. The paranoid process is thrown into the service of narcissism. It seeks to separate and divide; it seeks to find and establish enemies. It is uniquely the process by which deprived and threatened narcissism is sustained and restored. And we must not forget that the operation of the paranoid process has as its purpose the defense and preservation of the self. 有一些因素对理解自恋是很基础的。自恋是无法自我维持的行为。它的本质是不妥协的，不断地需要新的满足。它不是自我限制的。它没有内在的稳定性，有贪得无厌的品质。病态的自恋不允许有盟友。它只能容忍敌人。自恋的形象必须不断地恢复。与现实的斗争使孩子确信，如果没有现实，他就不会被剥夺，就会得到他想要的东西，这无疑是十分正确的。他的愿望的性质本身就阻止了它们的实现，而这正是他被剥夺的基础。因此，正是在这种情况下，我们才能开始把握自恋与偏执过程之间的内在联系。偏执过程被投入自恋的服务中。它寻求分离和分裂;它寻找并建立敌人。这是一个独特的过程，通过这个过程，被剥夺和受到威胁的自恋得以维持和恢复。我们一定不要忘记，偏执过程的运作，其目的是保护和保全自体。