Making Up Parental Deficits 弥补父母的缺陷 The parents may as a result relive segments of their own developmental conflicts through the child. If the latter to a sufficient degree gratifies these aspirations and fulfills these often unstated expectations—although they may frequently as well be relatively conscious and explicit—the child contributes to the parent's own development, to the filling-out and complementing of their personalities, to the deepening and enhancing of their own sense of identity and of the meaning and purposefulness of the parents' relationship to each other. Thus the transactional processes that work themselves out between parents and child create a matrix of interactions which is calculated to sustain and develop the participating identities of each of the actors (Benedek, 1970). Such triadic configurations form the basic structural pattern of organization within the family system, and the family organization can be broken down into a series of overlapping and interacting, but significantly different, triangular units which exercise a mutual and reciprocal influence within the family system (Bowen, 1960). 结果，父母可能会通过孩子重新体验他们自己发展冲突的片段。如果后者充分满足了这些愿望并满足了这些通常未陈述的期望（尽管它们可能经常是相对有意识的和明确的），则孩子有助于父母自身的发展，有助于父母的性格充实和补充，有助于加深和增强父母自己的身份感以及父母对夫妻之间相互关系的意义感和目的感。因此，父母和孩子之间的事务过程产生了一个互动环境，用以维持和发展每个参与者的参与身份(Benedek, 1970)。这样的三元组构型形成了家庭系统内组织的基本结构模式，家庭组织可以分解为一系列相互重叠、相互作用但差异显著的三角单元，这些三角单元在家庭系统内相互影响(Bowen, 1960)。 From this point of view it seems likely that in mother-infant interactions, in which the process of differentiation from the symbiotic union is impeded, an important contribution from the side of the mother may be that the symbiotic relationship provides her with a sense of fulfillment and purposeful relatedness which satisfies an inner sense of deficiency and need in her. At least transiently, then, and in terms of the symbiotic matrix, the profound unity she experiences with the child may serve to fill out and stabilize her own sense of identity. 从这个角度来看，似乎在母婴互动中,从共生联盟分化的过程受到阻碍,母亲一方的重要贡献可能是共生关系为她提供了充实感和有目的的相关性，这种相关性满足了她内部的缺陷感和需要感。至少是短暂的，从共生环境的角度来看，她与孩子所经历的深刻的统一可能有助于充实和稳定她自己的身份感。 However, the issue of the potential contribution which the child makes to the parent's own inner integrity and sense of identity remains a significant developmental issue through the entire extent of the developmental process. Searles (1966-67) has noted the significance for the child's developing self-esteem of the contribution he is able to make to the respective identities of the parental figures. Time and again, in the details of the case histories we have examined, it becomes evident that these patients, in the course of their earliest years, became drawn into the process of being put at the service of parental needs. It somehow became their responsibility to bring it about that through them the parents should derive a certain degree of satisfaction, gratification, fulfillment of aspirations, and unsatisfied needs of a variety of kinds. And it is also noteworthy that inevitably these children failed to fulfill the aspirations or to measure up to the expectations. 然而，在整个发展过程中，孩子对父母自身内在完整性和身份感的潜在贡献仍然是一个重要的发展问题。Searles(1966-67)已经注意到，孩子能够对父母身份的认同做出贡献，这对孩子发展自尊心具有重要意义。一次又一次，在我们检查过的详细病例中，很明显，这些患者，在他们最早的几年里，被拉进了为父母服务的过程中。从某种程度上来说，他们的责任就是让父母通过他们获得一定程度的满足，满意，以及抱负和各种未被满足的需求的实现感。同样值得注意的是，这些孩子不可避免地不能实现抱负或达到期望。 Often they are caught up in an effort to "cure" a deeply disturbed narcissistic psychopathology in the parent. We will have more to say about the developmental impact of this circumstance on the child later on, but our concern at the moment is with the parental aspect of the involvement. However, it is this narcissistic investment on the part of the parent which lays the motivational basis for the important caretaking and nurturing aspects of the parent-child relationship. At the same time the narcissistic involvement of a loving parent places a demand on the child to reciprocally support the parent's own self-esteem and the integrity of that self-system by responding to the implicit expectations of the parental projections. 通常，他们都在努力“治愈”父母的一种严重的自恋精神病理。我们以后会对这种情况对孩子发展的影响有更多的讨论，但我们现在关心的是家长方面的参与。然而，正是父母的这种自恋投资，为亲子关系中重要的照顾和养育方面奠定了动机基础。与此同时，慈爱父母的自恋卷入要求孩子通过回应父母投射的隐含期望，来互惠地支持父母自己的自尊和自体系统的完整性。 As long as the child is symbiotically joined within the maternal orbit and as long as the child is congenially responsive and adherent to parental expectations, the child's response enhances the parent's sense of worth and the perception of the parental self as the good, loving, and nurturing parent. The child's separation and independence, particularly when the pattern of self-initiated behavior is divergent from or incongruent with parental expectations, can then pose a threat to parental self-esteem. Such negativistic or independent behavior serves to separate the child from the parental self-system so that the child now can become the object of projected elements of the parental self-system which are relatively repressed or split off. The projection of these negative and defective aspects of the parental self sets the stage so that the angry parent now introjects the angry child. Thus the child can inflict by its independence and negativism a narcissistic injury on the parent which serves to elicit the parent's aggressive response in an effort to redeem the narcissistic loss. The regressive reintrojection of the projected parental aggression further serves to undermine and threaten the integrity of the parental self. The regressive reactivation of such old introjects may again serve as the basis for projection onto the child so that the child is now responded to in nearly delusional terms according to the pattern of response to the parent's own aggressive and hostilely destructive parent. 只要孩子共生地纳入母亲的轨道，只要孩子对父母的期望是意气相投的回应和追随，孩子的回应就会增强父母的价值感，以及父母对自身是好的、有爱心的、培养的 的感觉。孩子的分离和独立，特别是当他们自发的行为模式与父母的期望是有分歧的或不一致时，会对父母的自尊构成威胁。这些抗拒性的或独立的行为，把孩子从父母的自体系统分开，于是孩子成为父母相对压抑或分裂的自体系统投射元素的客体。父母自体负面和有缺陷方面的投射，设置了舞台，于是愤怒的父母现在内摄愤怒的孩子。因此，孩子可以通过其独立性和否定性对父母造成自恋的伤害，从而引发父母的攻击性回应，以弥补父母的自恋损失。父母对自己投射出的攻击性的回归性再内摄，进一步破坏和威胁了父母自体的完整性。这些旧的内摄物的回归性再激活可能再次成为投射到孩子身上的基础，因此孩子现在被以近乎妄想的方式回应，这与父母对他们自己的攻击性和敌对破坏性的父母的回应模式是一致的。